There is something about the number four that gives it a special place in our culture.
Four-wheel drive. The four-minute mile. The Fantastic Four.
Now, thanks to the power of the number four, we're seeing a breakthrough in fast-food development that's at once fascinating, terrifying and 100 percent by-gum American.
The four-patty cheeseburger.
It's called the BK Quad Stacker, and it lumbered onto menus this month at Burger King.
The Stacker's formula is simple: bacon, cheese, creamy sauce and burger patties. No veggies.
Four patties. Four slices of cheese. Eight slices of bacon. Try to wrap your mind, if not your mouth, around that. (It also has about 1,000 calories, which is actually only a few more than a double Whopper with cheese.)
Until now, the permanent four-patty burger was only a dream for fast-food restaurants.
It should be noted that aside from the sauce and unholy size, the sandwich is identical to a regular bacon cheeseburger. Like a bloated movie sequel that no one really asked for - Rocky IV, perhaps - the Stacker doesn't improve upon Burger King's traditional formula. It just gives us ... more.
Our Quad Stacker was 2 1/2 inches thick, nearly the width of a Post-It note, packed so tightly in yellow caulk-like cheese that we couldn't count the bacon slices. Plain and simple, its sheer size made it physically difficult to devour. What, we wondered, was the point of unleashing such a monstrosity on the masses?
Burger King has been experimenting with new products to reach new consumers, like the limited-time Cheesy Tots and Shake 'Em Up Spicy Fries.
You could argue that this isn't a good thing, that the fourth patty was a line of demarcation man was not meant to cross. But this is America, home of the 40-ounce Slurpee.
Yes, the four-patty burger was inevitable. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse would surely be proud.
